


Queens

by SpellCleaver



Series: Love Is Not Enough [9]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Intropection, Padmé Amidala Lives, mild AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-02-07 07:07:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12835911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpellCleaver/pseuds/SpellCleaver
Summary: Evaan has a few questions for the supposed wife of Darth Vader.





	Queens

Evaan Verlaine frowned as she studied the woman in front of her. It was just them in the mess hall, which was odd - her companion was rarely without company - but then again, maybe not so much, considering it was the middle of the night cycle.

She'd heard a lot about Padmé Amidala. Much of it she'd learned through her own studies with Queen Breha - the Viceroy apparently knew the woman personally - but she'd also learned a lot about the ex-Queen and Senator of Naboo since she'd joined the Rebellion

One: She was still alive.

Two: She was a miracle worker with words - the paragon of a political leader - but she wasn't afraid to pick up a blaster and plunge into the melee herself. She was popular around the Rebellion and on Naboo for that very reason.

Three: She was the biological mother of Princess Leia.

This, admittedly, she'd only learned because she'd grown close to Leia when they were both living on Alderaan. When Leia was old enough, and had learned who her biological parents were, she'd naturally been equally elated and horrified. She'd needed a confidant; Evaan was all too happy to fill those shoes.

This woman, Padmé Amidala, champion for democracy, had once been married to Darth Vader.

Still _was_ technically married to Darth Vader, if an estranged marriage at least.

There were so many questions she could ask, so many enquiries ranging from _How could you?_ to _Who_ is _Vader?_ but the one that slipped out was one that had been brewing in her mind ever since she'd learned that a petite woman (who could admittedly hold her own with a blaster) had married an vengeful, angry, murderous monster like _Darth Vader_ :

"Was it healthy?"

_Did you love him? Did he love you? Did he hurt you? Was he just as evil then as he is now? Did you have a choice in marrying him? If you did, why did you? How did he become who he is today?_

She instantly wanted to clap her hand over her mouth. That was rude. That was rude and invasive and uncalled for and Her Highness would be ashamed of her. She hastily tacked on the "Senator" honorific to the end in hopes of alleviating some of that rudeness.

But Amidala didn't seem offended. She smiled gently, and purposefully finished chewing her mouthful of rations before swallowing and answering, "I'm not Senator of Naboo anymore, Lieutenant; that's my niece's role. And I'm afraid you'll have to clarify your question."

Evaan swallowed, then debated clamming up, but that would be just as rude as continuing. And at least continuing would mean her pride (and curiosity) wouldn't suffer. "Your marriage. To Lord Vader. Was it healthy?"

For a moment, Amidala frowned. Then her brow cleared. "Oh - I know what you mean." She further mused: "You know, I don't think I've ever been asked that before." She seemed to realise Evaan was waiting for answer, then. "Yes," she assured her, shaking her head, "it was. I married him willingly, for love."

Evaan pursed her lips, and tried to fit that into her perception of the galaxy as a whole. "Forgive me for asking, my lady, but. . . how? How could a man like that-"

"Like what?" Amidala challenged. "A cyborg? A monster? A murderer? How could he ever love someone?"

Evaan nodded, slightly meekly.

Amidala sighed. "You're Leia's friend, aren't you? I assume that's how you found out."

For a moment, Evaan balked at the woman's use of "Leia" without the appropriate honorifics, before remembering: this was Leia's birth mother. Of course she wasn't supposed to be referring to her by her title. "Yes."

"Well, if Leia considers you trustworthy, I suppose I can too." She passed a hand in front of her face. "Vader was a Jedi once. Anakin Skywalker."

"Anakin. . ." The name didn't ring a bell. Not that it would, considering how heavily censored all records of the Jedi were nowadays, but it was frustrating all the same. "Vader was a Jedi? Then why did he hunt them all down? And didn't the Jedi forbid attachments?"

"They did." Amidala conceded the point with a regal dip of her chin. "And as such, our marriage had to be kept secret; he would have been expelled from the Order, and my political career would have been ruined forever. It. . . took its toll. On both of us."

"That's no excuse for hiding behind a mask and slaughtering thousands of people."

It was a wonder Amidala flinched at that; she must be used to hiding her emotions, and used to hearing _that_ sentiment in particular. "It's not. Anakin was manipulated into a situation he had no hope of controlling, but you're right: it doesn't excuse the appalling state he's left the galaxy in. And while I doubt I'll ever stop loving the image of the slave boy I met thirty years ago on Tatooine, I don't love _him_ anymore."

"I would hope not, my lady." Evaan was aware she was being snappy, snippy, intruding where she had no right to intrude, but. . . Vader was a monster!

The woman just smiled again. She really was remarkably patient. "Please, just call me Padmé."

"Yes, my- Yes, Padmé."

Padmé looked like she was avidly fighting a smile at Evaan's reactions. She didn't know whether to feel offended or relieved at that.

Then the look dropped, and the conversation started again. "I can't love the monolith he's become - a mindless supporter of the Empire. That's impossible. And looking back, I think I only ever loved the idea of him: someone who made me laugh, someone who. . . challenged me, I guess? In diplomatic beliefs, at least. We never quite saw eye to eye on matters of war and democracy. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised when he finally lost all faith in the Republic." She sighed.

"It's hard to imagine, but I understand where he got his beliefs from. As a child he was in a position no child should be in. And the Republic failed him - they failed to enforce the laws they put in place, and he suffered for it. Even when he became a Jedi, and ostensibly began to fight solely for the Republic and democracy, I don't think he ever gave up that bitterness.

"Truth be told? I felt sorry for him. I saw him when he left his mother aged nine; I saw him at his mother's funeral ten years later. I saw him be consumed by his fear over me dying in childbirth - it drove him insane, practically. Everything he did, he did for me." She lowered her eyes, and Evaan could see the guilt in them, could see the way her hand rested on her flat stomach, like she might feel a baby's phantom kick.

"There were things I didn't love about him, I suppose, even then. He was, and still is, from what I've seen, obsessive and possessive. He acted with both towards me, and I. . . felt uncomfortable. He could be prone to violence, random outbursts of anger. I've never known anyone more emotionally volatile than him. It's almost laughable, the irony that he was meant to be a Jedi. Jedi were at peace, calm. Emotionless at times."

Evaan was trying to process all of this. The thought of Darth Vader as a father, as a husband, as a _human being_ with _feelings_ , was too mind-boggling to comprehend. "So, he knew you were pregnant? He knew about his daughter?"

"He knew about the babies, yes," Padmé confirmed. "Well - we both thought there'd only be one. I thought boy; he thought girl. Strange that we'd both be right."

"So why aren't you with him? Why isn't he looking for you? Why didn't he apply for custody for the child - children? - at least?" After a moment, her mind caught up with her questions. "Wait, children?"

Padmé smiled again. She really did have a very nice smile, Evaan thought. It was no wonder it had charmed so many senators, soldiers and civilians alike over the years. "Yes. I was carrying twins, Leia, as you know, was raised by Bail and Breha. Luke was sent to Tatooine to be raised by Anakin's stepbrother. I was. . . very ill, when they were first born, and I couldn't look after them. Nor did I get any choice about them getting split up." She frowned at the memory.

"Will Vader ever find out that you're all alive?" Evaan asked cautiously. "Will he ever come for you?"

For a moment, Padmé looked haunted. Her face paled, she blanched, and her hands crept up to massage the skin of her throat.

"I hope not," she whispered. "I dearly hope not."

* * *

A few months after their conversation, many things happened:

Evaan moved with the Rebellion from Dantooine to Yavin 4.

Evaan heard about the destruction of Alderaan.

Evaan cried about the destruction of her homeworld.

Evaan worried about her friend, stuck in the bowels of the Death Star. Padmé worried too, but peripherally; Evaan suspected she was making sure she was too neck-deep in work to spent much time being frantic.

Evaan watched a battered freighter with the callsign _Millennium Falcon_ swoop into the base inside the Massassi Temple.

Evaan wept with relief when her friend stepped out of it.

Evaan noticed Padmé standing on the edges of the greeting party, not just looking at Leia, but at a blond, scruffy farm boy standing with her as well.

Evaan watched Dodonna give the pilots the talk about the Death Star plans.

Evaan flew against the Death Star.

Evaan was in one of the three Alliance ships - discounting the _Falcon_ that had joined the battle at the end - and the only member of Gold Squadron to survive.

Evaan witnessed the award ceremony for a boy called Luke Skywalker, looked at Padmé's proud face, and understood.

Evaan heard about Alderaanian survivors being targeted by the Empire.

And Evaan decided to act.


End file.
